In the first hour of meeting my new colleagues at Miller Leith, someone asked a question that many people in the industry had been thinking.
“Why the hell are you doing this?”
It’s a fair question.
Nineteen years earlier, I started my own business for a very practical reason. I had three children under three and needed a career that worked around family life, not the other way around.
What started as a necessity became something far bigger.
Over the next two decades, I built a successful business, a strong reputation and a career I was incredibly proud of. Along the way, I was approached more times than I can count about returning to an employer, and my response was always the same – no thanks.
I was used to making my own decisions, backing my own judgement and carrying responsibility for the successes and mistakes that came with building a business.
Then, after nineteen years, I walked away from it.
The obvious follow-up question is why Miller Leith?
The answer starts with Christy.
I brought her into recruitment twenty-five years ago and have watched her build an exceptional career and business ever since. Trust is hard-earned in this industry. Mine was already there. If we’re being completely honest, I’d walk into a burning building for her.
Joining an employer again felt unfamiliar.
Backing Christy didn’t.
A year later, as we officially launch the Miller Leith Executive Search division, it feels like the right moment to reflect on what has been one of the most rewarding, challenging and unexpectedly personal years of my career.
Spoiler alert – the answer to that original question is simple.
It wasn’t because I wanted less responsibility.
It wasn’t because my business wasn’t successful.
It was because I wanted more impact.
And because I’d found the leaders and the business I believed in enough to build it with.
The Good
The biggest surprise of the past year has been how much mental space is freed up when you’re no longer carrying the weight of business ownership.
For nineteen years, every decision, cost, hire, invoice, risk and setback ultimately landed on my desk. I loved it.
But I didn’t realise how much of my energy was tied up in running a business rather than doing the work I love most.
By shedding the business owner skin, I’ve been able to spend more time where I add the greatest value.
Supporting executives into career-defining opportunities. Partnering with leadership teams on critical hires. Having deeper conversations with clients and candidates about what’s really happening in their businesses, careers and lives.
Quite simply, I’ve been able to help more people. And that’s been incredibly fulfilling.
The second lesson arrived wrapped in a hospital gown.
This year I underwent brain surgery.
Eventually.
It only took five postponements to get there.
Every time a surgery date was booked, my diary was cleared. Every time it was pushed back, life and work had to be stitched back together again. Five times over.
Any recruiter worth their salt knows what an empty diary feels like. The silence is deafening.
Mine went from packed to blank five separate times. In a new role. With all eyes on me.
It would have been easy to feel like a risk, a distraction or an inconvenience.
The reality was the exact opposite.
I’ve never experienced support quite like I did from the team around me. Not once did I feel pressure. Not once did I feel like an inconvenience.
Instead, I had a team doing everything possible to make sure I could focus on my health and recovery.
A special mention goes to Christy, who somehow managed to combine genuine care with relentless positivity, even when my patience was wearing thinner than a hospital gown.
I’d also like to acknowledge Miller Leith founders Stephen Borg and Joe Sette. Culture is easy to talk about and much harder to build. The values they have embedded in this business were never more evident to me than during the uncertainty of the past year.
What also wasn’t lost on me was how quickly Miller Leith backed me when I was considering the role.
Before I’d signed a contract, I disclosed that I needed brain surgery.
The last thing I wanted was to become the candidate version of every hiring manager’s worst nightmare and casually drop, “Surprise, I’ve got brain surgery coming up” after the paperwork was signed.
Everything was on the table from day one. To borrow a line from The Greatest Showman… this is me.
Most organisations would have quietly decided the timing was too difficult or the risk too high and waited until the situation resolved itself.
Miller Leith didn’t. They backed me anyway. That says a lot about a business.
And while the support I received during those months was extraordinary, it was the trust shown before I’d even walked through the door that probably told me the most about the culture I’d joined.
Thankfully, the surgery was ultimately successful and is now firmly behind me.
The final good has probably been the most unexpected.
For years, much of my self-worth was tangled up in revenue.
Business owners will understand this.
You tell yourself you’re more than the monthly numbers, but if we’re honest, some days those numbers become the scoreboard you judge yourself by.
Over the past year I’ve felt more connected to people, to purpose and to the broader impact of what I do.
It turns out there are healthier ways to measure success than a P&L.
Who knew?
The Bad
The disappointing reality is that while my world has changed significantly, much of our industry’s reputation hasn’t.
Twenty years on, we’re still battling many of the same stereotypes.
Recruiters are still too often viewed as ambulance chasers rather than trusted advisers.
Candidates still assume we’re trying to fill seats rather than change lives. Many executives have stories that make them hesitant to trust us.
And unfortunately, some of those stories are justified.
The challenge for all of us in this profession is that our reputation isn’t determined by the best operators.
It’s determined by the average experience people have with recruiters.
That’s a responsibility we all carry.
The good news is that exceptional recruiters continue to prove every day that our value has very little to do with CVs and everything to do with relationships, judgement and advocacy.
The bad news is we still have plenty of work to do.
The Ugly
The ugly part has been standing in front of the mirror and realising I don’t have all the answers.
Running your own business for nineteen years can create the illusion that you’ve figured things out.
Joining an established, high-performing business has a funny way of exposing the gaps.
I’ve learned new things. I’ve challenged old assumptions. I’ve been forced to listen more and talk less. I’ve discovered areas where I was stronger than I thought and many where I wasn’t.
It’s been humbling. And honestly, that’s probably been the greatest ‘ugly’ gift.
It reminded me of a lesson I learned in my very first quarter in recruitment.
After swanning around billing $156k, my manager sat me down and told me something that has stayed with me for the rest of my career:
“There is no place for your ego in this business.”
At the time, I didn’t particularly enjoy hearing it. But she was right. She still is.
Because executive search isn’t about us.
We’re not the driver. We’re not even in the car. At our best, we’re the pit crew.
Working behind the scenes to prepare the track, tune the engine, manage the risks and create the conditions for success.
Our clients are the championship racing teams; our candidates are the elite drivers behind the wheel. We’re the pit crew working behind the scenes to tune the engine, assess track conditions, and make sure both have every chance to perform at their best.
And our job is to make sure both have every chance to perform at their best.
What Comes Next
Which brings me back to today.
The launch of Miller Leith Executive Search isn’t simply a new service offering.
It’s an extension of everything I’ve spent the last twenty years believing about this profession.
That executive search should be deeply human. That relationships matter more than transactions. That curiosity beats certainty.
And that the best outcomes happen when ego steps aside and genuine partnership steps in.
One year ago, I was being asked why on earth I’d join somebody else’s business after nineteen years of running my own.
Today, the answer feels incredibly obvious.
Because sometimes the biggest impact you’ll make isn’t by building something alone. It’s by finding the right team to build something bigger with.
One year in, launching Miller Leith Executive Search feels less like a new chapter and more like confirmation that taking the leap was the right decision.
And I couldn’t be more excited about what’s next.